that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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