i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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