We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
