i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
