i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
