Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize