i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
