She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
