You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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