I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
