He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize