we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
