i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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