and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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