Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
