hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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