Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize