it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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