I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
