how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
