Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize