Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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