i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
