I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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