How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
