We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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