i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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