it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize