I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
