hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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