Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
