Your mouth is God's brothel.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
