So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
