he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize