Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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