she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
