I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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