My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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