Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
