New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you traded sex for a burrito?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
