McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
