I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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