I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
