I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
