My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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