haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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