Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
