the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
