hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
