in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize