but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
