Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
