literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you never un-have a 4some
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
