You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
worst night to have a conscience
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
