yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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