You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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