Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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