Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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