Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
