Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
