wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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