erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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