No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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