If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
