My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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