Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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