do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
