wanna go halves on a baby?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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