It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
