Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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