I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
