I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
