Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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